


My Song

by monaboyd_archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Angst, Death, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-23
Updated: 2004-05-23
Packaged: 2018-07-28 11:55:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7639234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monaboyd_archivist/pseuds/monaboyd_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy finds Dom.  Song fic based on Soundgarden's "Like Suicide".</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Song

**Author's Note:**

> Written 23.May.2004. Thanks to Eldaduin for being my ever constant kickass super beta.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Note from Shirasade: this story was originally archived at the Monaboyd.net Archive, which was closed in September 2014 due to software issues and a lack of new submissions for several years. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in October 2014. I e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact me using the e-mail address on the Monaboyd.net Archive collection profile.

_  
“Bit down on the bullet now  
I had a taste so sour  
I had to think of something sweet  
Love's like suicide  
Safe outside my gilded cage  
With an ounce of pain  
I wield a ton of rage  
Just like suicide”  
_  
Billy could hear the music blaring as he bounded up the stairs. Since Dom, although not particularly neat and orderly, hated a dirty carpet, Billy always kicked his sandals off and left them outside the door. So, upon doing so, he pushed the door open and shouted “Jeez Dom, you’re going to go deaf!” There was no answer. Something seemed off. He hadn’t called to tell Dominic he was coming over, so he hadn’t expected him to be waiting, but still yet, there was no sign of him in the front room or the kitchen. The music, which he had assumed to be coming from the entertainment center in the front room, was instead coming from a stereo in Dom’s bedroom. He made his way towards the noise and, as he reached the door, noticed that it was cracked a bit. He peeked inside, and still, no sign of his friend. “Dom?” he shouted. God this music was too bloody loud. Dom probably hadn’t even heard him shouting. He chuckled to himself at the thought of sneaking up on the git; payback for all of the times he’d almost been made to wet himself over Dominic’s antics. He went over to the stereo and turned the volume down to a reasonable decibel. “Dom you daft cunt, you have company…Where the fuck are you?” he shouted again. As he turned to make his way towards the master bathroom that was hidden away in the corner of the bedroom, he stepped in a wet spot on the carpet. Another step, more water. What the hell was going on? The water was coming from the bathroom. “Hey, dipshit, you’re overflowing,” he said, making his way across the room. He flung the door open. What came next was all a blur.  
_  
“With eyes of blood  
And bitter blue  
How I feel for you  
I feel for you”  
_  
“Oh my god…Dom…” Billy said, gasping and trying to make his heart start beating again. He ran over to the tub where a pale, ghastly Dominic rested in bloody, warm water. Billy grabbed several towels and pulled him out of the tub, resting him gently on the floor. He was so limp. Billy hurriedly wrapped the towels around Dominic’s wrists, trying to keep anymore of the precious blood from spilling. He felt for a pulse. It was there, but it was weak. “God…Dom…please…Oh god…” he grabbed his mobile out of his pocket and dialed the emergency number. The nasally voice on the end of the phone telling him to calm down became immensely frustrating, but finally it was confirmed that an ambulance was on the way. Billy sat there and held the dying man close to him, sobbing and rocking him back and forth. “God Dom…please don’t leave me…Please…I’m so sorry I wasn’t here…Please…” he pleaded as he brushed through Dom’s hair and placed soft kisses on his forehead. Billy was so busy pleading with Dom to live that he barely acknowledged the medics racing in the door to steal him away.  
_  
“She lived like a murder  
How she'd fly so sweetly  
She lived like a murder  
But she dies  
Just like suicide”  
_  
Billy waited in Dominic’s apartment for the rest of the guys. They were going to go to the funeral together, and they all knew Billy had been hit the hardest of all by the loss, so they intended to stick by him every moment they could. As Billy wandered around, still in shock from the events of the past two days, he replayed the doctor’s voice over and over in his head…”I’m sorry…You did all you could, but it was just too late…” he had said. He walked into the bedroom and sat down on the bed. After a moment, he leaned over and pressed his head into the pillow, breathing deeply, inhaling the scent of Dominic on the pillowcase. He turned his head just a fraction and, through teary eyes, spotted something sticking out from under the pillow beside him. The pillow that had once, and would always, belong to Billy. He reached over to find a note addressed to himself. Shakily he unfolded it and read:  
  
_My dearest Billy,_  
 _Sometimes the hardest thing to do in this life is to live it…and I can’t do it anymore. Please be happy, remember me always…You are the most beautiful person I have ever known, and I am glad to close my eyes with your image and spirit embedded into my mind for eternity. I never meant to cause you pain and I have so many regrets. There are so many things I wish I could write to you now, but words can’t express everything I feel, so I will leave you with this…I love you, Billy, and I will love you for eternity…I loved you through this life, and I will love you in every life hereafter. You are my soul…You have my soul…Carry on for me. Please forgive me. I will never leave your side, even when you feel that I have abandoned you._  
 _Forever yours,_  
 _Dom_

There were tiny blood spatters on the right-hand corner and between that and Dom’s scratchy handwriting, Billy could no longer contain himself. He lay down and wrapped himself in the blanket on the bed he and Dom had often shared and began to weep. He wept out of mourning, he wept out of guilt, he wept out of anger, but most of all, he wept out of love…his love…and how he wished he had set it free.


End file.
